There are often times when I wake up in the morning and I think about the things I want and how my life would be better off if I had them. I often get upset and start to blame myself or others around me for the things I don't have. Sometimes, I engage in self-violence and criticize every aspect of myself. I start to point out my flaws and imperfections and deprive myself of self-love until I get those skinny legs, that flat stomach or toned arms.. I've been in this cycle for so long that I've abandoned loving or taking care of myself.
Looking back, I feel really selfish. I have the perfect mom and dad who has given me everything that I've asked for and more, siblings who constantly make me laugh and an amazing boyfriend who is blind to all these "imperfections" that I see. There are so many good things in my life, but I choose to look at what's missing.
So I want to just write a post, to be thankful..
There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.
Thank you to my special few,
I don't know how you all put up with me, but you do... consistently. Life with me is probably crazier than a roller coaster ride but you're still in it with me. Though, I constantly fail to remember my blessings, thank you for always being there to remind and show me. Thank you for constantly trying to help me even if I refuse your help. Thank you for putting up with my temper and my crazy emotional states, rushing to me when I need someone to cry to. Each one of you go out of your way to make sure I'm okay, doing whatever you can to make me smile and happy.. then starting all over whenever I feel down. I don't know how to thank you enough, but hopefully my actions in the future make up for everything you all have done for me.
With love,
Michelle
